Album 13 - Conkers
For their thirteenth album the band pulled out the stops and produced a true modern classic. The four part song “Bonkers Conkers” about h losing his virginity during a rather fraught conkers game at school is only the start. The album also contains the epic Brown Cloud about the man who held the World Record for the number of curries eaten in one day, and the inevitable affect on the remainder of his life.
Luci sent an email asking fans “not to each buy ten copies of the new single to get the band on the telly (wink)”. The band were accused of chart rigging and were docked 15 points, stopping them achieving their first UK number one hit.
This period also saw the start of the “Cult of Marillion” weekends. It has been discovered that listening to the band for more than fifteen years creates a instinct that cannot be ignored. Like salmon swimming upstream or swallows migrating, followers gather, without invitation, at the same time in the same place. They then proceeded to drink inhuman amounts of alcohol, burn copies of FarQ magazine, drink more alcohol and listen to the band playing for three nights in a row.
Album 14 – Something Else
According to unreliable sources, all of the band members, apart from H wanted to call the album “Fourteen”. They had heard that Fishoutofmarillion was going to call his album 13 Bars and wanted to go “one better”.
H was not impressed “For goodness sake, when are you four going to let this Fish thing go!” he shouted “All that stuff was twenty years ago, just bloody well go and make up with the man. Go play one of your silly old songs with him and get it out of your systems. As for the album, we’ll have to call it something else!”
Album – 15 Chill Out Man
The band was very disappointed with the reception given to Something Else. After releasing the worst songs from the album as singles, they couldn’t figure out why they flopped.
As a result, H had a “bit of a funny turn” on tour and was referred to the famous Dutch clinician: Dr Hfuhruhurr. He presented H with the book “Chill Out Man” and told H to chill out. H started to relax and listen to prog music. He realised that it was not only quite good, it was pretty much what the band had been recording when they were on form.
As a result of his experiences, H returned to the studio with reams of lyrics for the new LP which he announced would be a double concept prog CD with themes of spiritualism, love and peace. Pete “Kind of Prog” Tiswasas nearly wet himself with excitement! Mark, however, was unsure. He had just learned that crop circles are not made by the alien friends he sees when he smokes funny ciggies and had become pretty cynical about any supernatural ideas.
The album proved to be even better than Conkers and Untitled. With a new energy and a chilled out H the band recorded a faultless classic with songs beyond parody. Unfortunately, after finishing the album, the band then found themselves completely devoid of ideas. Indeed, for the first few nights of the tour, they forgot how to play their instruments. It was only when they played in Leeds that they realised that they needed to Chill Out even more. On the way to the gig, the band had to travel through the barren lost third world of Bradford. H pointed out “life could be worse, we could be living here”. The band immediately re-found their mojo and the rest of the tour was a success.
Album 16 - WTF
Whilst on tour, the band recorded another album's worth of top notch prog music. They entrusted the only copy with Pete who happened to mention the fact to a friend on the phone. Soon after, Pete was abducted and the music was stolen. Pete's memory of events is hazy, recalling a Dutch hippie, an American evangelist and and a "half man, half animal hairy monster". All he could say for days after the traumatic event was "Its not my fault", ad infinitum.
The band were very annoyed as they had promised Luci another classic. They quickly cobbled together a few bits of string, metal pipes & sticky backed plastic to make new "instruments". Then recorded some of their less popular songs on them and hoped that no one would notice.
While the album is not the worst the band have recorded, some sad Dutch fans travelled all over Europe to tell them they didn't like it. H got pretty annoyed and at the first gig in Oslo in between songs he told jokes about Holland that would make Jim Davidson blush. Tapes of the gig have mysteriously disappeared.
For their thirteenth album the band pulled out the stops and produced a true modern classic. The four part song “Bonkers Conkers” about h losing his virginity during a rather fraught conkers game at school is only the start. The album also contains the epic Brown Cloud about the man who held the World Record for the number of curries eaten in one day, and the inevitable affect on the remainder of his life.
Luci sent an email asking fans “not to each buy ten copies of the new single to get the band on the telly (wink)”. The band were accused of chart rigging and were docked 15 points, stopping them achieving their first UK number one hit.
This period also saw the start of the “Cult of Marillion” weekends. It has been discovered that listening to the band for more than fifteen years creates a instinct that cannot be ignored. Like salmon swimming upstream or swallows migrating, followers gather, without invitation, at the same time in the same place. They then proceeded to drink inhuman amounts of alcohol, burn copies of FarQ magazine, drink more alcohol and listen to the band playing for three nights in a row.
Album 14 – Something Else
According to unreliable sources, all of the band members, apart from H wanted to call the album “Fourteen”. They had heard that Fishoutofmarillion was going to call his album 13 Bars and wanted to go “one better”.
H was not impressed “For goodness sake, when are you four going to let this Fish thing go!” he shouted “All that stuff was twenty years ago, just bloody well go and make up with the man. Go play one of your silly old songs with him and get it out of your systems. As for the album, we’ll have to call it something else!”
Album – 15 Chill Out Man
The band was very disappointed with the reception given to Something Else. After releasing the worst songs from the album as singles, they couldn’t figure out why they flopped.
As a result, H had a “bit of a funny turn” on tour and was referred to the famous Dutch clinician: Dr Hfuhruhurr. He presented H with the book “Chill Out Man” and told H to chill out. H started to relax and listen to prog music. He realised that it was not only quite good, it was pretty much what the band had been recording when they were on form.
As a result of his experiences, H returned to the studio with reams of lyrics for the new LP which he announced would be a double concept prog CD with themes of spiritualism, love and peace. Pete “Kind of Prog” Tiswasas nearly wet himself with excitement! Mark, however, was unsure. He had just learned that crop circles are not made by the alien friends he sees when he smokes funny ciggies and had become pretty cynical about any supernatural ideas.
The album proved to be even better than Conkers and Untitled. With a new energy and a chilled out H the band recorded a faultless classic with songs beyond parody. Unfortunately, after finishing the album, the band then found themselves completely devoid of ideas. Indeed, for the first few nights of the tour, they forgot how to play their instruments. It was only when they played in Leeds that they realised that they needed to Chill Out even more. On the way to the gig, the band had to travel through the barren lost third world of Bradford. H pointed out “life could be worse, we could be living here”. The band immediately re-found their mojo and the rest of the tour was a success.
Album 16 - WTF
Whilst on tour, the band recorded another album's worth of top notch prog music. They entrusted the only copy with Pete who happened to mention the fact to a friend on the phone. Soon after, Pete was abducted and the music was stolen. Pete's memory of events is hazy, recalling a Dutch hippie, an American evangelist and and a "half man, half animal hairy monster". All he could say for days after the traumatic event was "Its not my fault", ad infinitum.
The band were very annoyed as they had promised Luci another classic. They quickly cobbled together a few bits of string, metal pipes & sticky backed plastic to make new "instruments". Then recorded some of their less popular songs on them and hoped that no one would notice.
While the album is not the worst the band have recorded, some sad Dutch fans travelled all over Europe to tell them they didn't like it. H got pretty annoyed and at the first gig in Oslo in between songs he told jokes about Holland that would make Jim Davidson blush. Tapes of the gig have mysteriously disappeared.