Album 17 – Smells That Shouldn’t Be Made
As this album has caused much excitement, I thought a careful examination of each song was in order:
Wouldn’t The World Be A Better Place If People Stopped Killing Each Other?
The band were adamant that the new album would be a statement that they are definitely not a prog rock band so they decided to start the new album with the longest song they have ever written. With complicated time changes, contrasting musical styles and lengthy instrumental passages, this song alone should put the silly “prog” label to bed once and for all.
The catchily titled Wouldn’t The World Be A Better Place If People Stopped Killing Each Other? (WTWBABPIPSKE?) is a song suggesting that the world would be a better place if people stopped killing each other. Just to make certain there was no ambiguity, the album contains a written commentary from H confirming that the sole purpose of the song is to suggest that the world would be a better place if people stopped killing each other. To make it abundantly clear, the CD also came with a DVD which featured an interview with H in which he confirmed that the song is simply stating his view that world would be a better place if people stopped killing each other.
Discussion on the MOLF and Facebook about WTWBABPIPSKE? was a mature reflection on the contents of the song and didn’t descend in to pointless taking of sides, pointing of fingers, political gesturing and name calling. If only the leaders of the world acted as responsibly as the band’s fans! Imagine all the people, living life in peace!
Smells That Shouldn’t Be Made
During the recording of the album, an unnamed member of the band attempted to give up smoking by using the popular “curried brussels sprouts” method which involves eating the aforementioned food stuff whenever said band member felt the need for a ciggy.
This made the atmosphere in the studio rather stuffy on occasions giving inspiration to the popular title track. One particularly spectacular series of percussive guffs led to the singer walking out of the studio and writing the “it just ain’t right” section of the song.
The song finishes with the “Culpar Canine Coda” in which the unnamed former smoking band member blames his unnamed dog (Jed) on the fragrance in the air.
It was this situation that led to the band members working from home, sending bits of songs for the producer to put together into the album that resulted. Amazingly, it also resulted in said band member not smoking as long as he stuck to the special diet. The success of the method appears not to be in the effectiveness of the food to stop the craving but more to do with the fact that no one dare light a match within a 50 metre radius.
Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle (How’s About That Then)
JJJJ(HATT) is a song about the British TV star of the 70’s & 80’s. It follows the past tribute to Rod Hull ("Out of the Sky" - album 8) with an epitaph to the Leeds DJ Jimmy Savile. Jimmy was known as an eccentric who raised millions for charity and perhaps would have been more loved if he didn’t keep banging on about it and wasn’t so freakingly odd. It was almost like he had something on his conscience.
Five Go Mad In Canada !!!
The band had the idea of putting one of the singer’s diary entries to music as a fitting tribute to the fans. Unfortunately, the diary pages got mixed up with the diary of another member of the band’s support crew who, confusingly, has a similar surname to the singer.
Mockillion has exclusively obtained excerpts of from the diary that was used to construct the lyrics:
“Off to Canada with the band – can’t wait to write about the amazing japes the band get up to while on tour”
“Landed in Canada. The plane didn’t have to turn around mid-air due to US immigration idiocy like last time as apparently, Canada isn’t in the USA (who knew!).”
“Immigration chaps were jolly friendly and, just to be nice, pretended to know the band
(who does!!).”
“Stayed in hotel room & caught up on some sleep. Wild!”
“Went to breakfast in the morning, but it felt like the afternoon. Crazy!”
“Went out shopping! For shoes!! Amazing!!!”
“A wild, wild night. Went to the circus! Totes amazeballs!!!!”
“Love the hockey on TV, it’s much better than the music channel that seems to have some half dead bloke on, singing songs about how terrible life is.”
“Gig went OK apart from the bit where they messed up one of their best songs. Perhaps they should have played Easter?”
(I Wish The Tattooist Had Used) Invisible Ink
It is a little known fact that in the 80’s, the members of the band had a pact whereby they had to have the names of their “significant others” tattooed on their backsides.
Rumours persist that the real reason the former singer left the band was that, after seven years, he couldn’t sit down. This song is a tribute to the big man and his poor arse.
Lucky Woman
The band often play songs written from other people’s point of view. This song was written from the point of view of the singer’s current wife, telling the story of how they met and how lucky she must feel, every day.
The bridge section of the song has a very catchy melody and the band were most disappointed that the fans seemed reluctant to sing along to the lyrics that describe the first time the singer’s wife saw him in the buff. Apparently, the lyrics “Don’t worry Babe, it’s a grower, not a shower” (repeated several times) wasn’t something the fans were comfortable singing out loud at gigs.
Doris Isn’t A Little Bit Partial Anymore
This tells the sad tale of Doris who, after having 11 children, is not so keen in the bedroom department as she once was. This has left her husband, Barry, a bit narky which isn’t helping matters.
It’s a heartbreaking lyric that has a bitter/sweet ending. Doris finally agrees to “try for another baby” but only after Barry has been to the shops. The excited Barry goes shopping but his heart breaks once more in the local Netto when he sees just two items to buy on his wife's list: a turkey baster and a jazz mag.
Bonus Track: Pour Your Tea
The album was completed in March 2012, bang on schedule. At the first proper playback, God was apoplectic with fury.
“NOOOOOO” he cried, “IT IS TOO PERFECT. IN THIS STATE, THE ALBUM IS LIVING PROOF THAT I AM A TRUE DEITY. PROOF DENYS FAITH AND WITHOUT FAITH I AM NOTHING!”
While God may just have been reading a little too much Douglas Adams, the band agreed to blemish the album with a substandard track to protect the existence of the guitarist, much as they had with the “Paper Song” on album seven. The producer suggested band members come up with the worst ideas for a song they could think of.
The band were stumped. They had used most of their worst ideas on the risible Holidays album and the remainder on the Something Else singles. The producer suggested they mix the worst music they know (the contents of Luci’s ipod) with the lyrics of the writer who had provided the appalling words for Uninvited Fish on the band’s fifth album.
The result is a song with music that sounds like some awful Jazz/Funk band, over which the singer mumbles an Alan Bennett style monologue about pouring a cup of tea for your grandma.
“THAT SHOULD DO IT, IT'S TERRIBLE, PERHAPS THE WORST THING WE’VE EVER RECORED” said a very pleased God, relieved that the album was no longer quite perfect and so the requirement for faith in his powers remained.
Never the less, the album was lauded by the fans and critics. The continued success of the band was assured and another successful chapter of the band’s history was complete.
As this album has caused much excitement, I thought a careful examination of each song was in order:
Wouldn’t The World Be A Better Place If People Stopped Killing Each Other?
The band were adamant that the new album would be a statement that they are definitely not a prog rock band so they decided to start the new album with the longest song they have ever written. With complicated time changes, contrasting musical styles and lengthy instrumental passages, this song alone should put the silly “prog” label to bed once and for all.
The catchily titled Wouldn’t The World Be A Better Place If People Stopped Killing Each Other? (WTWBABPIPSKE?) is a song suggesting that the world would be a better place if people stopped killing each other. Just to make certain there was no ambiguity, the album contains a written commentary from H confirming that the sole purpose of the song is to suggest that the world would be a better place if people stopped killing each other. To make it abundantly clear, the CD also came with a DVD which featured an interview with H in which he confirmed that the song is simply stating his view that world would be a better place if people stopped killing each other.
Discussion on the MOLF and Facebook about WTWBABPIPSKE? was a mature reflection on the contents of the song and didn’t descend in to pointless taking of sides, pointing of fingers, political gesturing and name calling. If only the leaders of the world acted as responsibly as the band’s fans! Imagine all the people, living life in peace!
Smells That Shouldn’t Be Made
During the recording of the album, an unnamed member of the band attempted to give up smoking by using the popular “curried brussels sprouts” method which involves eating the aforementioned food stuff whenever said band member felt the need for a ciggy.
This made the atmosphere in the studio rather stuffy on occasions giving inspiration to the popular title track. One particularly spectacular series of percussive guffs led to the singer walking out of the studio and writing the “it just ain’t right” section of the song.
The song finishes with the “Culpar Canine Coda” in which the unnamed former smoking band member blames his unnamed dog (Jed) on the fragrance in the air.
It was this situation that led to the band members working from home, sending bits of songs for the producer to put together into the album that resulted. Amazingly, it also resulted in said band member not smoking as long as he stuck to the special diet. The success of the method appears not to be in the effectiveness of the food to stop the craving but more to do with the fact that no one dare light a match within a 50 metre radius.
Jingle Jangle, Jingle Jangle (How’s About That Then)
JJJJ(HATT) is a song about the British TV star of the 70’s & 80’s. It follows the past tribute to Rod Hull ("Out of the Sky" - album 8) with an epitaph to the Leeds DJ Jimmy Savile. Jimmy was known as an eccentric who raised millions for charity and perhaps would have been more loved if he didn’t keep banging on about it and wasn’t so freakingly odd. It was almost like he had something on his conscience.
Five Go Mad In Canada !!!
The band had the idea of putting one of the singer’s diary entries to music as a fitting tribute to the fans. Unfortunately, the diary pages got mixed up with the diary of another member of the band’s support crew who, confusingly, has a similar surname to the singer.
Mockillion has exclusively obtained excerpts of from the diary that was used to construct the lyrics:
“Off to Canada with the band – can’t wait to write about the amazing japes the band get up to while on tour”
“Landed in Canada. The plane didn’t have to turn around mid-air due to US immigration idiocy like last time as apparently, Canada isn’t in the USA (who knew!).”
“Immigration chaps were jolly friendly and, just to be nice, pretended to know the band
(who does!!).”
“Stayed in hotel room & caught up on some sleep. Wild!”
“Went to breakfast in the morning, but it felt like the afternoon. Crazy!”
“Went out shopping! For shoes!! Amazing!!!”
“A wild, wild night. Went to the circus! Totes amazeballs!!!!”
“Love the hockey on TV, it’s much better than the music channel that seems to have some half dead bloke on, singing songs about how terrible life is.”
“Gig went OK apart from the bit where they messed up one of their best songs. Perhaps they should have played Easter?”
(I Wish The Tattooist Had Used) Invisible Ink
It is a little known fact that in the 80’s, the members of the band had a pact whereby they had to have the names of their “significant others” tattooed on their backsides.
Rumours persist that the real reason the former singer left the band was that, after seven years, he couldn’t sit down. This song is a tribute to the big man and his poor arse.
Lucky Woman
The band often play songs written from other people’s point of view. This song was written from the point of view of the singer’s current wife, telling the story of how they met and how lucky she must feel, every day.
The bridge section of the song has a very catchy melody and the band were most disappointed that the fans seemed reluctant to sing along to the lyrics that describe the first time the singer’s wife saw him in the buff. Apparently, the lyrics “Don’t worry Babe, it’s a grower, not a shower” (repeated several times) wasn’t something the fans were comfortable singing out loud at gigs.
Doris Isn’t A Little Bit Partial Anymore
This tells the sad tale of Doris who, after having 11 children, is not so keen in the bedroom department as she once was. This has left her husband, Barry, a bit narky which isn’t helping matters.
It’s a heartbreaking lyric that has a bitter/sweet ending. Doris finally agrees to “try for another baby” but only after Barry has been to the shops. The excited Barry goes shopping but his heart breaks once more in the local Netto when he sees just two items to buy on his wife's list: a turkey baster and a jazz mag.
Bonus Track: Pour Your Tea
The album was completed in March 2012, bang on schedule. At the first proper playback, God was apoplectic with fury.
“NOOOOOO” he cried, “IT IS TOO PERFECT. IN THIS STATE, THE ALBUM IS LIVING PROOF THAT I AM A TRUE DEITY. PROOF DENYS FAITH AND WITHOUT FAITH I AM NOTHING!”
While God may just have been reading a little too much Douglas Adams, the band agreed to blemish the album with a substandard track to protect the existence of the guitarist, much as they had with the “Paper Song” on album seven. The producer suggested band members come up with the worst ideas for a song they could think of.
The band were stumped. They had used most of their worst ideas on the risible Holidays album and the remainder on the Something Else singles. The producer suggested they mix the worst music they know (the contents of Luci’s ipod) with the lyrics of the writer who had provided the appalling words for Uninvited Fish on the band’s fifth album.
The result is a song with music that sounds like some awful Jazz/Funk band, over which the singer mumbles an Alan Bennett style monologue about pouring a cup of tea for your grandma.
“THAT SHOULD DO IT, IT'S TERRIBLE, PERHAPS THE WORST THING WE’VE EVER RECORED” said a very pleased God, relieved that the album was no longer quite perfect and so the requirement for faith in his powers remained.
Never the less, the album was lauded by the fans and critics. The continued success of the band was assured and another successful chapter of the band’s history was complete.