What follows is the band's 2010 diary. To be fair, it could describe quite a few of the past 30 years.
After the success of Chill Out Man, the band decided to take 2009 off. Sure they got in the studio in 2009, but spent most of the time mucking about with bits of wire & pipe. Sure, they played a handful of gigs, but only enough to keep the wolf from the door.
So, 2010 was to be a year of action. Mockillion can exclusively give you a month by month break down of what proved to be a very eventful year!
January
The band headed straight back into the studio.
Well, most of them did.
Well, actually, Pete dropped in to look for some keys. But it was early in the year and they needed to build up some energy for the action packed year ahead.
February
A band meeting! All agreed, this would be a year of action with a new album and a big tour. Hurray!
Also in February, Pete wrote a load of music for the Atlantic Trannies, reformed after one, unnamed, member of the Supergroup found that playing small, drafty churches praising an unseen deity who dispenses wishes if you ask hard enough, does not pay the rent.
March
Time passes...
April
Activity picked up with another band meeting! All agreed playing a festival was a good idea. It meant that if they had to go into "the bloody studio" they could pretend to practice while Luci was around and play on Mad Jack’s new shinny thin computer the rest of the time. Rother’s score on Aurora Feint 3 was particularly impressive.
Oh, and Pete recorded a 75 minute classic prog album with the Trannies plus a load of extra tracks.
May
The band decided to have a few weeks off. Luci was pretty angry and as a punishment (but also for a joke) proposed they to support a hairy dinosaur-rock tribute band in the backstreet clubs of Germany.
Unfortunately, the ever efficient Mr President didn’t realise it was a joke and signed the paperwork when it came in the post.
Oh, and Pete toured with the Atlantic Trannies playing 3 hour gigs all over the world.
June
Luci called an emergency meeting! The band decided with over ten, half hour gigs planned for five months time, there was no way they would be able to record an album. Perhaps one or two songs, but certainly not a whole long player.
H got hooked on GodFinger and decided the next album would be about the game.
A band holiday to the Med was also organised and, to please Luci, the band played a couple of gigs. No new songs written or played though – no point in going mad!
July
The activity was now frantic with another two gigs. Phew!
At one of the gigs, Fishoutofmarillion managed to get in. After 20 years of being banned from the band’s concerts, the big man disguised himself as a balding middle aged man and fitted in with the rest of the fans. Disappointingly he didn’t boo, or shout for Grendel, or anything. He just listened to the band for a bit then went to see some overweight idiots play cod-classical music; the latter's set list was a bit like a school orchestra concert in a school where the music teacher loves Hooked On Classics.
August
Summer holidays – hurray!
Another joke goes wrong as the band decide the set list for the next fans weekend. After reading this very website, Mad Jack suggested they play the risible Holidays album before disappearing to his second home in the Maldives.
Now, Luci quite likes the risible Holidays album (but remember, her favourite song is about a Chinaman’s Hat) and so got the weekend website up and running. The fans had already paid their money and, in any case, they didn’t complain about the “Worst Songs and Rubbish Covers” night a few years before, so what was the harm?
The rest of the band agreed that it had to be played at some point and at least it got it out of the way. It also meant they could really enjoy the Saturday and Sunday gigs as there was no risk of some idiot suggesting they play No One Can’t.
September
Two more gigs. Wow!
These gigs aside, time passes…..
October
Luci organised a fans get together. The band had no new songs to play so they put on a video and went out for a curry. The fans had a good time and wondered when the promised new album is to be released. With the half hour gigs coming up, the band said they are in no hurry to write or record anything but they were happy to sign plastic pumpkins all night.
November
So, the long awaited 30 minute gigs arrived. When the band saw the contract they were suprised to see the clauses:
1 - You don't mention Ritchie, we won't mention Derek;
2 - You must play Kayleigh, its the only one our stupid screeching singer likes;
3 - Have you got David Coverdale's phone number?
A successful tour saw unworthy smellies see the best band in the world play some of their best songs.
The bastards.
December
H played a few gigs as he assumed he would have a tax bill to pay. Imagine his disappointment when Luci told him: "No new album, no money, no tax".
He spent the £83 made on the tour on a few xmas presents then called the other band members, "I've decided, 2011 will be a year of action...."
After the success of Chill Out Man, the band decided to take 2009 off. Sure they got in the studio in 2009, but spent most of the time mucking about with bits of wire & pipe. Sure, they played a handful of gigs, but only enough to keep the wolf from the door.
So, 2010 was to be a year of action. Mockillion can exclusively give you a month by month break down of what proved to be a very eventful year!
January
The band headed straight back into the studio.
Well, most of them did.
Well, actually, Pete dropped in to look for some keys. But it was early in the year and they needed to build up some energy for the action packed year ahead.
February
A band meeting! All agreed, this would be a year of action with a new album and a big tour. Hurray!
Also in February, Pete wrote a load of music for the Atlantic Trannies, reformed after one, unnamed, member of the Supergroup found that playing small, drafty churches praising an unseen deity who dispenses wishes if you ask hard enough, does not pay the rent.
March
Time passes...
April
Activity picked up with another band meeting! All agreed playing a festival was a good idea. It meant that if they had to go into "the bloody studio" they could pretend to practice while Luci was around and play on Mad Jack’s new shinny thin computer the rest of the time. Rother’s score on Aurora Feint 3 was particularly impressive.
Oh, and Pete recorded a 75 minute classic prog album with the Trannies plus a load of extra tracks.
May
The band decided to have a few weeks off. Luci was pretty angry and as a punishment (but also for a joke) proposed they to support a hairy dinosaur-rock tribute band in the backstreet clubs of Germany.
Unfortunately, the ever efficient Mr President didn’t realise it was a joke and signed the paperwork when it came in the post.
Oh, and Pete toured with the Atlantic Trannies playing 3 hour gigs all over the world.
June
Luci called an emergency meeting! The band decided with over ten, half hour gigs planned for five months time, there was no way they would be able to record an album. Perhaps one or two songs, but certainly not a whole long player.
H got hooked on GodFinger and decided the next album would be about the game.
A band holiday to the Med was also organised and, to please Luci, the band played a couple of gigs. No new songs written or played though – no point in going mad!
July
The activity was now frantic with another two gigs. Phew!
At one of the gigs, Fishoutofmarillion managed to get in. After 20 years of being banned from the band’s concerts, the big man disguised himself as a balding middle aged man and fitted in with the rest of the fans. Disappointingly he didn’t boo, or shout for Grendel, or anything. He just listened to the band for a bit then went to see some overweight idiots play cod-classical music; the latter's set list was a bit like a school orchestra concert in a school where the music teacher loves Hooked On Classics.
August
Summer holidays – hurray!
Another joke goes wrong as the band decide the set list for the next fans weekend. After reading this very website, Mad Jack suggested they play the risible Holidays album before disappearing to his second home in the Maldives.
Now, Luci quite likes the risible Holidays album (but remember, her favourite song is about a Chinaman’s Hat) and so got the weekend website up and running. The fans had already paid their money and, in any case, they didn’t complain about the “Worst Songs and Rubbish Covers” night a few years before, so what was the harm?
The rest of the band agreed that it had to be played at some point and at least it got it out of the way. It also meant they could really enjoy the Saturday and Sunday gigs as there was no risk of some idiot suggesting they play No One Can’t.
September
Two more gigs. Wow!
These gigs aside, time passes…..
October
Luci organised a fans get together. The band had no new songs to play so they put on a video and went out for a curry. The fans had a good time and wondered when the promised new album is to be released. With the half hour gigs coming up, the band said they are in no hurry to write or record anything but they were happy to sign plastic pumpkins all night.
November
So, the long awaited 30 minute gigs arrived. When the band saw the contract they were suprised to see the clauses:
1 - You don't mention Ritchie, we won't mention Derek;
2 - You must play Kayleigh, its the only one our stupid screeching singer likes;
3 - Have you got David Coverdale's phone number?
A successful tour saw unworthy smellies see the best band in the world play some of their best songs.
The bastards.
December
H played a few gigs as he assumed he would have a tax bill to pay. Imagine his disappointment when Luci told him: "No new album, no money, no tax".
He spent the £83 made on the tour on a few xmas presents then called the other band members, "I've decided, 2011 will be a year of action...."